LET PATIENCE EARN HER KEEP
Don't let shortcomings in your mate be a short stop for your patience.
James I: 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect
and entire, wanting nothing.
Your patience with God and your husband depends on the faith you have in
them. James is saying in verse's 2-4:
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
4 But let
patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting
When trials come to test us, we need to call on faith and when we do, faith
will employ patience. They are
twins and always work together.
Patience will build your confidence in God and your husband.
To be patient is to remain consistently the same in your faith.
Like if you are waiting for something; just stand there until you get
what you are waiting for.
35 Cast not away therefore your confidence, which
hath great recompence of reward.
36 For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God,
ye might receive the promise.
Patience is that part of the fruit of the Spirit that makes it possible for
us to get along with one another.
You see we are all difficult and
different people; no two are alike.
But patience enables us to dwell together in peace.
You need to stop searching for faults in your mate, and start
overlooking faults. What you see
can affect your heart, and your heart will affect your actions towards your
Lam. 3:51 Mine eye affecteth mine heart because of all the daughters of my
Even God who is perfect overlooked our faults so he could in mercy and
righteousness meet our great need of salvation.
So we must allow love to accomplish its marvelous work through us.
By overlooking our mates little shortcomings it gives us single sight
to zero in on all the wonderful things and talents he possesses.
Don't waste time looking at what your mate is short of.
But focus on all the many strong and wonderful things about him that
does not need a magnifying glass to see.
DON'T BE GUILTY OF TISSUE-PAPER FEELINGS
Look out for tissue paper feelings.
Act like the strong adult you are.
Don't allow your feelings to be so easily bruised.
Remember it is not uncommon for easy bleeders to keep a sore.
If one must choose the words they say to you, in fear of your tender
fragile feelings; they might just choose not to talk with you at all.
In a strong marriage husbands and wives must have tough hides and
round shoulders. The tough hide
is to keep every little thing from penetrating love's wall of protection
around your relationship. This
will prevent those little sharp words and answers that were not intended to
hurt, from sticking and lingering long after they are spoken.
They just fall right off.
And the round shoulders won’t allow you to carry around any chips of anger,
hurt feelings and revenge. They
will just fall to the ground where they need to be under your feet.
This is where everything needs to be that is not helpful to your
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go
down upon your wrath:
27 Neither give place to the devil.
BE YOUR HUSBAND'S DEFENDER
Wives, be your husband's defender and not his accuser.
That is his enemies and Satan's job, don't you help them.
Rev. 12:10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation,
and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for
the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God
day and night.
Satan is accusing believers daily before God of serving him just for
6 Now there was a day when the sons of God came to
present themselves before the Lord and Satan came also among them.
7 And the Lord said unto Satan, Whence comest
thou: Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, From going to and fro in the
earth, and from walking up and down in it.
8 And the Lord said unto Satan, Hast thou
considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a
perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?
9 Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, Doth Job
fear God for nought?
10 Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and
about his house, and about all that he hath on every side?
thou hast blessed the work of his hands,
and his substance is increased in the land.
11 But put forth thine hand now, and touch all
that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face.
God, who knew Job better than anyone else, spoke up for him.
You know your man better than anyone but God, so you must always
speak up for him when it is necessary.
Instead of being the blame assigner; be a sharer.
Remember you and your husband are in this marriage, this love, the
ups and downs together. Every
win is our win, and so is every loss.
If you are taking a trip in your car, and your husband makes a wrong
turn you are both lost, and you were right there beside him when he made
that wrong turn. Well marriage
is the same way. No one has a
finger free to point out blame, when both of you have your hands on the job
of building a lasting relationship.
You are partners in all things, all the time.
If there is ever a problem involving others and you know your husband
is at fault; pray about it first, ask God to give you special favor to
discuss the matter with your husband when you two are alone, not in the
presence of others. This will
allow him to go and make things right with those whom he had angered.
This is a much better way than you shaming him in public and causing
him to resent your interference.
You've given him a chance to be the big person you know him to be, and he
will appreciate you for your wisdom, respect, trust and discretion.
He will call you virtuous.
10 Who can find a virtuous woman?
for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have
no need of spoil.